"I am supposed to be angry." Lily declared calmly the moment Zhuo Jingren boarded the car with her. She felt the car started to move as she watched the street lights in front of her. She then let out a sigh, something so gentle and soft that it was immediately drawn by the sound of the traffic ahead of them. "But all I feel is deep sadness." She added before she leaned her head on Zhuo Jingren's shoulders.
In response, Zhuo Jingren reached out and held Lily's hand. He went ahead and slowly squeezed Lily's hand. It was like a gentle reminder that he's here for her- he would always be there for her.
Sadness is something that Zhuo Jingren never understood. He always used to wonder why he would feel sad over something that was already done? There is no use in crying over spilled milk. However, this all changed when he heard about Lily's disappearance seven years ago.
You could convince yourself not to feel it. You could try and talk to yourself over and over again. Mind over matter as they always call it. However, we all know how useless this is. In the end, we can only watch as our hearts get stabbed by that sadness. Slowly, painfully… We can only watch as our hearts bleed without dying. This is the reason why people deal with sadness using different methods. Some choose to forget, some want to drown in their ocean of tears while some… some choose to end their lives.
This is what happened to his wife seven years ago. Lily wanted to end her life not because of shame but because of sadness and guilt. She was alone and she blamed herself for everything that happened to her. Knowing this was just… too painful for Zhuo Jingren. He could not imagine how much she had suffered. He couldn't even begin to imagine the measures she would've taken to forget all these things.
From the guilt of her mother's death to her unborn child, to the possibility that she could not conceive again. Zhuo Jingren could not even fathom the pain that she must've been through. The pain that caused her to change so much. The same pain that is stopping her from feeling angry right at this moment.
Zhuo Jingren understood. He understood how Lily had been angry for so long… too long. She had been angry and had been masking all the emotions that she was unable to show in front of other people. From guilt to sadness to misery. He knew that anger was her defense mechanism. Her way to conceal what was hidden behind her thick walls. Zhuo Jingren also knew that Lily had never healed. There was never a scar as until now… she continued to bleed. Inside.
His wife was bleeding silently.
However, Zhuo Jingren knew how his presence had changed all this. He was not that confident to say that she loved him. But he knows that she trusts him. Otherwise she would not show him all of the emotions that she had been trying to hide for so long.
If this was the old Lily, Zhuo Jingren knew that she would rage. She might even lose control of her anger, of herself. But the Lily in his arms right now is different. She is stronger than the previous angry Lily- stronger than her past self. And he would do everything to keep it that way.
"I have the DNA results." He said after a few minutes of comfortable silence. He then felt Lily shift in his arms before she opened her eyes and moved her head away from his shoulders. She looked at him- straight at his face.
"And?" she asked.
"He is not your father." Zhuo Jingren said. "He is a relative, perhaps an uncle."
"I can't say that I am surprised." Lily said before she leaned on Zhuo Jingren's shoulders again. "I'm likely someone from the Main Clan of the Qin Family." She said, her eyes closed again, her face was calm but the occasional lines in between her brows showed that she was deeply troubled by something.
"I already asked Bei Tian to get me Zhang Yifei's file." Zhuo Jingren said. "Do you want to know what I will do with He Xinlan?"
"No." Lily answered. "Do what you want to do."
"Hmmmm…." He nodded, his gaze unfathomable. He already told Bei Tian to keep He Xinlan alive as long as he could before Zhuo Jingren will start giving her a dose of what she deserves.
Zhuo Jingren felt Lily's breathing slow down before falling into a continuous rhythm. She must have been too tired, he thought as he slowly shifted his body to make Lily a little more comfortable. After almost an hour drive, Zhuo Jingren and Lily finally arrived in Sky City. He chose not to wake her up and carried her into their apartment. Then he slowly laid her down on their bed and changed her clothes.
After making sure that Lily is lying comfortably , Zhuo Jingren silently kissed her forehead before he made his way into his study. Then he got his phone that was stored in his secret vault and dialed a number.
"Give me an update." He said the moment, the person on the line answered.
"Qin Mo made Tang Lingyun see two producers and she has slept with both of them." The other person responded. "Qin Mo has also been acting suspicious and is always alone in his study. My guess is he is talking to someone. However, I was not able to trace any activity from his phone. He could be using a satellite phone or something disposable."
"Qin Liwei?" Zhuo Jingren asked after a few seconds.
"He is a devious businessman. He already acquired all the approval of the clients and he might even contend with the CEO position against his father. He does not know that the Qin Industries owe the madam a huge amount of money as he was too busy building his connections. This should be because of Tang Lingyun's advice. He is also getting closer to Xuan Hui and Qin Fei."
Those words instantly made Zhuo Jingren scoff. "My wife has been too soft. That Xuan Hui… is too idle. Create some trouble for him."
"What kind of trouble?"
"A deadly one." Zhuo Jingren uttered, his voice cold as his gaze was glued to the framed picture of Lily in front of him.